Not since the Classic period of 250 AD to 900 AD has a Mayan dominated the world stage as much as Mya has controlled season nine of Dancing with the Stars.

It’s been the most dull couple months in show history largely due to the random set of contestants chosen by ABC; but also because the winner has been clear from the outset.

Has anyone really threatened Mya’s reign atop the leaderboard? Is there any way American can justify voting for Kelly or Donny this week, following Mya’s most recent pair of perfect scores?

Check out a full rundown of performances and critiques from last night and then let us know who you reckon should win.

We’ll know the season nine champion in a few hours. Who do you reckon it should be?

They may have a fake marriage, but they’ll soon reside in a very real, very expensive home.

Multiple source confirm that Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian have bought a $4 million mansion in Tarazana, California.

Its amenities reportedly include a spa, waterfall, cabanas, parking for 15 cars, a home theater, steam room and gym. We also assume the house has a direct line to the paparazzi, so Khloe and Lamar can call ahead and alert photographers to their impending whereabouts.

TMZ first reported the buy of this $3.995 million estate, which features seven bedrooms and nine bathrooms. It’s located in a gated, guarded community.

No word yet on whether Odom or Kardashian will get the property after the couple inevitably divorces in approximately six months if they ever call it quits.

Spencer Pratt finds a pregnancy test in the trash on The Hills tonight.

This can only mean one thing: MTV told him to say he found it there and pretend to profess his deep concern that Heidi Montag might be pregnant.

He confides in pal Charlie that he took her to Hollywood hot spot Katsuya “for a small alcohol test.” He says she didn’t even have a sip! Case closed!

“What if she’s already pregnant?” a worried Spencer Pratt questions Charlie, stating that if she is, their marriage is “game over.” Mmm hmm. Sure it is.

Spencer likes to show Heidi his o-face. This, but, is his nooooo-face!

This season, Heidi Montag has been even more vocal about her desire to have kids than she is when Spencer’s giving her 20-30 orgasms a day.

Much as Spencer likes tapping that mostly-plastic booty, he’s been adamant about not having kids. He even pretended to consider a vasectomy.

Last week on The Hills, Heidi plotted retaliation on him for his small doctor visit, telling Audrina Patridge she plotted on pulling the goalie soon.

If any of this were real, it would make for compelling television. But alas. Check out a clip of Spencer freaking on tonight’s episode post-jump:

One is making headlines for simulating oral sex on stage.

Another is aiming for a comeback after a public, hideous break-up.

A third is really, really weird.

And the fourth major artist releasing a new album this week has really broken pre-sale records, despite having been utterly unheard of just a few months ago.

Indeed, with numerous singers and record marks hoping to take advantage of the holiday season, this is shaping up to be the most competition week in CD sales history.

Adam Lambert (“For Your Entertainment”), Rihanna (“Rated R”), Lady GaGa (“The Fame Monster”) and Susan Boyle (“I Dreamed A Dream”) will all compete for the top spot on the charts.

And we’re not even counting Britney Spears, who is releasing a collection of her number-one hits (K-Fed is certainly not inclued on that list. Zing!).

Whose new album will you buy first?

So if your reading this I assume you follow and delight in DWTS.